Fly Like a Bird..

“Papaaa!!” Six year old Alka squealed with happiness.

She was seeing her father after 4 months. She ran towards the door with her tiny anklets clinking in harmony, her arms held wide open, she leapt on to her father’s arms. She planted a kiss on his cheek and let her tiny fingers run against the day old stubble on his gaunt jaw.

She playfully struck him on his cheeks with her little hands “Where were you Papa?? You weren’t even here for my birthday!”

“Papa is sorry…Alka, Papa works for the country, and Papa had to fight some bad men who were a danger to our country.” said her father in a tone half proud of his endeavors and half remorseful.

She fiddled with the stars on his shoulder flap and asked inquisitively – “Is that why you have stars on your shoulder, Papa? Did they pluck these off the sky and give it to you?”

Her father let out a smile, a gratifying smile, similar to the one he had when she first uttered the words “Pa-Pa”; a smile – when she peacefully slept in her arms every night he was home.

“Yes, sweetheart. Anyone who works for the country is given a star.” He said with a hint of smugness in his voice.

“I want stars too. When I grow up, I too will work for the country.”

He kissed her on the forehead and asked “What did Mumma get you for your birthday?”

She got down immediately and dragged him inside, her little fingers clasping his index finger and pulling through. She took him to the balcony and showed him a cage with two very colorful parakeets. They were drinking water off the tiny tumbler they had inside the cage.

“I thought you wanted a puppy for your birthday.” He asked.

“Yes, Papa, but puppies don’t fly in the sky. Don’t you know that birds fly in the day and become stars in the night when they go to sleep?” Her father pulled her cheeks and let out a hearty laugh.

“When I grow up and work for the country, these two shall become the stars on my shoulder– just like yours.”

“Alka, if you keep them in a cage, how would they fly? The sky is their home. They would never become stars if you don’t let them fly. Would you like it if Mumma locks you inside a room and wouldn’t let you go anywhere?” He made sure that his tone was not being authoritative.

Alka wondered for a while. She felt bad for the birds, her eyes started to well up, her face sulked.

“Papa! The birds would hate me. No matter how much I love them; they would never become my stars. We should set them free...” she said half sobbing.

Her father gave her a warm hug and wiped her tears off.

**_______**

He grabbed his toothbrush from the stand to begin another mundane day. The two toothbrushes on the stand stood facing against each other; even the toothbrushes seem to hate each other. He heard her footsteps from behind, coming into the bathroom; he caught a glimpse of her through the mirror. Their eyes met for a fleeting second. It was different; the warmth was no longer there. It seemed like he was staring into an abyss. She undressed to get into the shower. What used to be one swift, unhesitant motion of undressing is now cautious and flinching. He stared at her naked body and it took him back to the time the first time they made love, the passionate union of two people in love. It was different from the times he had sex with others. It was unadulterated, devoid of any lust or any other materialistic pleasure.

Their intimate memories should ideally have been offensive to him; she was sleeping with someone else now. But, he felt a strange kind of pride, that of, owning her body and knowing the intricate details of it. Nobody can take that away from him. He did not feel regret, or hope, just pride.

“So have you decided yet on the divorce? Let’s not make this a showdown of egos, please.” Her voice half muffled by the noise of the running shower.

“No, I won’t. I always have respected your opinions and decisions and this one too shall not be any different. But, don’t you think we are giving it away too easy. Can’t we give it another shot?”

“I don’t think I have the patience for that. Have you told your parents yet? I don’t know if I could face them after this.”

“No, I will tell them when it’s the right time. Your mum called me yesterday and she wanted us to go to a counselor if it would help. I did try explaining her that a counselor wouldn’t help. You have a word with her too.”

“Hmm...I shall. Are you doing all right?” She asked with a genuine concern and admiration towards her soon to be ex-husband’s ability to be fair. It’s times like these that raise pangs of self-doubt. She can’t boast of an incredible history of making accurate choices, but she always made sure she did what she felt, even if it would hurt people close to her. This was a huge decision for her to make – choosing between a man she was married to, who she has immense respect for, and a passionate, expressive and impulsive man who filled a void in her and made her feel happy, a happiness which her husband could never provide.

“Can we go to the sunset point…one last time?” He asked her, taking her by surprise. He didn’t want to answer her question. This was where they met after college, almost every day. This was the place where he first kissed her, where he first saw love in her eyes.

“Yeah…sure…why not!” The request clearly taking her by surprise, but she couldn’t avoid it. It’s the least she could do.

**_______**

The bright, fiery orange threads of light dispersed across the dreamy purple sky. The sun was about to set. The street lights on the highway below were trying hard to replace the sunlight, although, like the sunlight; some things can never be replaced. He held her hand and gazed at the setting sun.

He saw a man approaching towards them; he was helping his daughter climb up the flat peak of the plateau and he had a cage along with him. The little one was visibly disappointed with a frowning face. Once on top, her father held her hand and unlocked the cage, the two birds, at first reluctant, didn’t want to come out. They seemed pretty used to the cage. The father had to coax them out of the cage. The birds flapped their wings and after a moment realized that it’s their ticket to freedom. They spread their colorful wings, frantically chirping, reveling in the new found independence, soared towards the infiniteness of the sky. The little one was beaming with a smile; her frown seemed to magically disappear. She pointed towards the soaring birds and hugged her father.

He shall never forget the mental image of the little one’s content smile. It was at that moment that he realized; he let out a sheepish smirk and his eyes welled up. He turned towards her and kissed her forehead, while holding her head with his hands.

“I have to let you go. I want you to be happy.”

**_______**