Possibility...

The first shot hit his mother, before he could react and come down the stairs, the second shot fired. This one took his sister from a point blank range. He couldn’t decide whom he should tend to first. He came running towards them and that was when the third shot fired. The bullet grazed past through his neck and took a mound of flesh with it. It was a shot which would haunt him for the rest of his life. It was a shot he wished, had hit its target. 

He wasn’t trained to handle this situation, he was blank. It was then that one of his friends who came to celebrate his 20th birthday shouted to call an ambulance. He took his mother on his lap, she was conscious and was trying to tell him something, but she just couldnt. One half of his wanted to rush to his father, snatch his gun and shoot him, but he had to rescue his mother and sister first. How he wished the shot hadn't missed.

They were declared dead on arrival. He was immediately rushed to the operation theater to check on his wounds. He thought about his father, he knew he never meant it. He could feel his eyes getting heavy with the anesthesia kicking in, as he went into the slumber a last thought kicked in - he wished the shot hadn't missed.

                                                                                 ***

"Is this a dream? What is this gun doing in my hand? Where did the blood come from? Where is my glass of scotch? "

With blood smeared all over his clothes, he sat on the bed. His thoughts were running haywire, he couldn't hold on to one single thought and then, the most prominent of the thoughts hits him- Did he just kill his wife and daughter? 

He realized it wasn’t a dream; it's the end of it. As the effect of alcohol started wearing away, his conscience got to him. He realized that there’s nothing he can do now to redeem himself. He can attain salvation only one way. 

He rested the gun at his temple, closed his eyes. The whole of evening rushed past him. He hoped his son was fine and...Before he could finish his thought, his conscience ridden index finger had pulled the trigger like a hangman waiting to get done with his guilt. As the piercing pain hit him, one last thought occurred to him - 

How he wished he had never shot!

                                                                                 ***

It was a faint noise, very serene. Though my knowledge of musical instruments is restricted, I could easily guess that it was a piano. The tune seemed somewhat familiar. A faint female voice, not very mature started crooning; there was melancholy in her voice.

~~There's a possibility~~

~~There's a possibility~~

~~All that I had was all I'm gon' get~~

It was a voice, whose eyes have seen a lot of distressing scenes. It was a voice, whose mind was in search of answers to her questions. It was a voice, whose heart saw a glimmer of hope at the end of the road. It was a little louder now, though still I couldn’t make out where it was coming from.

~~ There's a possibility~~

~~There's a possibility~~

~~All I gon' get is gon' be yours then~~

~~All I gon' get is gon' be yours still ~~

And then suddenly my eyes opened.

At first, the bright light pierced through my eyes blinding me as if someone just flashed in a bright torchlight right into my face. It took a while for me to get used to. I was sitting on a lone bench besides a blooming cherry blossom tree with their pristine white with a pink hue flowers in full bloom. In front of me was infinite stretch of grassland. The sun was shining bright; a pleasant breeze was ruffling the blossoming flowers infusing life into them there by finishing their resurgence from the torrid autumn. It was a total picture of serenity; I was about to close my eyes to soak in the glory of the nature and the song was getting lucid with every moment.

~~So tell me when you hear my heart stop ~~

~~You're the only one that knows ~~

~~Tell me when you hear my silence ~~

~~There's a possibility I wouldn't know~~

I heard a voice.

“Beautiful…Isn’t it? I love spring, everything’s so fresh!” She said, almost talking to herself while running the white hair band through her curly hair which accentuated her forehead. She had a poignant voice with little sadness in it, but had an amazing child like exuberant quality.

 “I used to love going to the school in the spring, everything’s so fresh. The sun shining bright, the birds chirping, the blooming flowers…”

Her recollection of school brought memories into my head as well. I used to hate getting up early for the school in the winters myself. It made me grumpy and the early morning maths class didn’t help the cause at all.

“It is beautiful indeed. Even, I love the spring.” I added in an indifferent tone to mask the enthusiasm the spring has brought in me, in front of a stranger.

“But do you know what the best part of the spring is?”

 Before I could think of something pleasant, she started answering her own question.

“It’s the early morning dew drops on the leaves, sliding through the leaves as though it was a bead of pearl let loose from the string holding it”

That’s pretty intense thought for a young teenager, I thought. Before she throws another question at me, I wanted to know who she was and what was she doing here? But, she caught me again before I could act.

“How did you reach here? Are you also a victim?”

~~By blood and by me, and I'll fall when you leave ~~

~~By blood and by me, I follow your lead~~

That’s when I asked the question to myself. In a state of memory paralysis, I just couldn’t remember how I got to this place. I tried hard to recollect what was I doing and where was I, but I just couldn’t remember anything.

“I don’t know. I just can’t seem to remember. How did you get here? Probably, that will help me recollect” I said, trying to get over the fact that I couldn’t remember how I have reached here.

“Even I can’t recollect. All I remember was darkness. I think it was a pillow held tight onto my face. I tried hard to scream, but I just couldn’t open my mouth. I wanted to kick him and escape to the safety of my parent’s room. I wanted to bite him, but the pillow just didn’t move from my face. I kept trying, but to no avail. Then suddenly everything went mute; I couldn’t hear anything except for my rapid heartbeats. I couldn’t hear my own agonizing cry for help. My eyes began to droop. That’s when she offered me her hand. I held it tight and then hand in hand we walk up into the pristine bright light.”

~~So tell me when you hear my heart stop ~~

~~You're the only one that knows ~~

~~Tell me when you hear my silence ~~

~~There's a possibility I wouldn't know~~

I felt a chill run through my spine. Her words took me back to the time, a range of images occurred to me. The chilling image of my father with his gun pointing towards my mother and sister, the image of my mother's eyes when she was breathing her last on my lap, the serene image of my sister face before I placed the last log on her cremation bed. The image of three pyres burning and how I wished to run into one of them and just get done with my life. 

How I wished that the bullet had hit its target that day.

~~ There's a possibility~~

~~There's a possibility~~

                                                                            ***

~~ There's a possibility~~

~~There's a ..........~~

His phone rang continuously, by the time he could gather his thoughts the ringing stopped. It must have been his wake up call from his girlfriend. He wondered where he heard the song before, that's when he realized his girlfriend had changed his ringtone. 

"This is the only way I can get you to listen to it" she said. 

He was about to call her back, when his dog sprung on his bed and handed him the newspaper, following the usual morning routine. As he was about to pat the dog, the girl's image on the front page caught his eye. She seemed so familiar to him, her image was so fresh. He felt a sense of déjà vu. The long hair, white hair band - Did he know her? Did he dream of her? What were they talking about? He just can't seem to recollect the details and that was when his eyes fell on the headlines.....

Girl found murdered in mysterious conditions at Noida home

TNN | May 17, 2008, 06.11 AM IST

In Noida, a class 9 student of Delhi Public School was found murdered at her sector 24 house in Noida late on Friday. The victim, Aarushi was found lying on her bed with multiple stab wounds on her abdomen and injuries apparently inflicted by a blunt object on her head and face. The domestic help of the family, who lived with them in the house, was reportedly missing since the murder came to light. Aarushi's parents, a doctor couple Rakesh and Niranjan Talwar - were at home when the incident took place.

The suspect, identified as Hemraj of Nepal, was engaged by the Talwars barely 8 months ago. Police later traced two close relatives of the suspect and detained them for interrogation.

Police refuted reports that she was sexually assaulted after the murder. "There is no comment in the post-mortem report on on this issue," clarified superintendent of police (SP) City Noida Dinesh Misra talking to TOI on phone. Asked if the doors of room.... 

                                                                              *---*

PS: Aarushi's story was long inside my head but never found a fitting form to be told. That's when a chance 'out of boredom read' led me to Kamal Sadanah's story. 

Two tragic stories had so much pathos in common. I believe, it was just waiting to be connected and then the beautifully sung with apt lyrics"Possibility" by Lykki Li seemed to be apt to bind them.